Sample Paper Grading/#24

Sample 1:
Analysis of literary features: 4/5
Exploration of Performance: 7/10
Use of language and structure: 4/5

There are 14 paragraphs in this essay in total. The first paragraph served to introduce the work the author did and the choice of the scene. However, it kind of lacked an impressive hook to attract readers’ eyes.

Then the next 10 paragraphs mainly introduced the scene the author chose to the readers. But this part was too long to read, and therefore it did not look like a summary of the scene, but a retelling story. Fortunately, the author also combined personal description of actions as well as the analysis of the reasons of these behaviors with the revision of the story. However, it seemed like the author do not know how to do the in-text citations, which was a weakness of this essay, although the specific lines were shown.

The following two paragraphs focused on the blockings, costumes, body languages and movements. It was a good analysis paragraph which met the requirements of the essay, providing specific and deep explanations enough. But when talking about the emotions the character had, only body language and movements could not represent everything. Facial expressions was also able to contribute to the emotional changes. This was what the author did not mention about.

For the last conclusion paragraph, it’s better for the author to revise the points made previously in the essay to make the whole article more organized. Concluding about what the author learned was a good reflection, but discussing about what was needed to be improved is necessary as well. Overall, the essay was written in good and organized language with proper word choices. Again, the author could have a better structure of the work.

Sample 2:

Analysis of literary features: 3/5

Exploration of Performance: 6/10

Use of language and structure: 2/5

In this essay, there are 13 paragraphs in total. The first paragraph could be considered as an introduction, lacking a good introductory of the scene the author chose, and it was not a really good strong beginning of the essay.

The structure of the article was not clear or organized. There should be a clear separation of the literary analysis of the scenes and the reflection of the author’s performance. The whole essay looked like the author did not know which point should be talked about. Combining the story of the scene and the explanations of body languages and movements was good, but it seemed too chaotic and confusing for the readers. It’s true that every description of the acting was followed by a piece of analysis but was not deep and inspiring enough.

The biggest weakness of the essay is that it lacked of discussion about on-stage settings. The author did not talk about the blocking or costumes in the performance. Also, there was no analysis of facial expressions showing how they supported to present the character’s emotions. The other weakness was that there was no in-text citations or even bibliography at the end of the essay.